Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters by President Spencer W. Kimball

Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters

by President Spencer W. Kimball

Spencer W. Kimball, “Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” New Era, Jan 1979, 42

Excerpts from the speech delivered at the September 16, 1978, women’s fireside

My dear sisters, the women of the Church, young and older, it is such a privilege to have an opportunity to speak to you in your many different locations and situations around the world. I only wish we could meet all the women of the Church in one large body, but we are grateful that the Lord has blessed us with the technology to make tonight’s worldwide assemblies possible. …

This is an unique and significant gathering. Nothing like it has ever been held before in the Church—and so far as I know, in the world.

Yes, there are some wonderful advantages to our modern day. …

As one of the few men privileged to be with you in this momentous gathering, I come to you tonight with a message of peace and hope and love, a message of advice and counsel, a message of faith and encouragement and confidence. I trust that what I say will be helpful and beneficial to you.

May I begin with re-emphasizing some everlasting truths. My dear sisters, choose to keep the commandments of God. For men, for women, for young, for old, this is the secret to happiness, here and hereafter. Keeping them with self-mastery and personal discipline allows the real freedoms that exalt and sustain us. The basic commandments are as simple as they are true: the Ten Commandments as given by God to Moses and the addition to them of what the Savior said—to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, might and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself.

Attend to your personal and family prayers and family devotions. Keep the Sabbath day holy in thought and deed. Live strictly the Word of Wisdom. Attend to all family duties. Keep your life clean and free from all unholy and impure thoughts and actions. Cultivate those associations and activities which will not threaten and lower your high, righteous standards.

Study the scriptures. Thus you may gain strength through the understanding of eternal things. You young women need this close relationship with the mind and will of our Eternal Father. We want our sisters to be scholars of the scriptures as well as our men.

You need an acquaintanceship with his eternal truths for your own well-being, and for the purposes of teaching your own children and all others who come within your influence.

Be chaste and do everything in your power to help others to be. Be so absorbed with uplifting, enriching pursuits and pastimes that you leave no room for the negative or the evil that might move in to fill some bored or thoughtless void.

Remember always that the Lord has sanctified some things, and they are not to be forgotten or departed from. They are divine principles which, if adhered to, will make you supremely happy.

The words of all inspired prophets will teach you that violations of the law of chastity are sins in the eyes of your Heavenly Father. It is a transgression to be involved in any illicit sex activity such as fornication or adultery. It is a transgression to become involved in lesbianism or to engage in any lustful activity.

The sexual drives which bind men and women together as one are good and necessary. They make it possible to leave one’s parents and cleave unto one another. But here, more than almost any other place, we must exercise self-control. These drives which are the fountainhead of human life are to be allowed expression only in the sanctity of marriage.

Among your most important choices in life should be a temple marriage. Honorable, happy, and successful marriage is surely the goal of every person. One who would purposely or neglectfully avoid its serious implication is frustrating her own eternal program.

Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but eternal joys as well.

In selecting one’s companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one is not wrong. In a true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness.

Some young people think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills, but true marriage is based on happiness that is more than that, one that comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness.

You can set your goals, young women, to make you reach and strain. Keep striving for them. Be prayerful and humble in seeking wisdom and knowledge. You are in the time of your life for studying and preparing. Learn all you can. Growth comes from setting your goals high and reaching for the stars. …

Young women should plan and prepare for marriage and the bearing and rearing of children. It is your divine right and the avenue to the greatest and most supreme happiness. You should also make choices looking forward to productive use of your time once the children are grown and gone from under your wing. You should seek for ways to bless the lives of all with whom you associate. You should know the truth of all things. You should be prepared to help build the kingdom of God.

You may answer that finding a husband is not within the power of a young woman. The man has the choice. To the extent that that is true, remember that what the Lord expects of each of his daughters is that she seek out those opportunities and make those choices which will keep her worthy of living again with him. Then she will be prepared for marriage. …

When I think of the women of the Church, I think of my own beloved Camilla and how greatly our family has been blessed because of her talents and leadership. What makes her—and literally millions of others of you like her—so trustworthy and so trusting? I think there are some realities to look at.

For one thing, Mormon women are basically strong, independent, and faithful. They have chosen to live by a creed and a way of life that can be demanding at best. From the earliest days of the Church, active membership has meant faith, fortitude, denial, selflessness, and service.

All Church programs are designed to assist us, whether we are men or women, in becoming better Latter-day Saints. All Church programs are designed to bring us closer to our Heavenly Father and live lives more like that of his perfect son, Jesus Christ.

The great women of the kingdom have often been uprooted with their husbands and families and have been moved hither and yon, yet they never worried about God’s forgetting them because they worshipped a God who governs the galaxies but who, in the midst of such vastness, continues to love each of his children perfectly, individually, and constantly.

Each of you should be grateful to be a woman! Self-pity is always a sad thing to see and especially when there is no justification for it. To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help, to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.

One of the important messages that emerges from the history of great women in all ages is that they cared more for the future of their families than for their own comfort. Such good women had a grasp of what matters in life. When called upon to do so, they could fashion a lovely city in the midst of a swamp or make the desert blossom as a rose.

Selflessness is a key to happiness and effectiveness; it is precious and must be preserved as a virtue which guarantees so many other virtues. There are so many things in the world which reinforce our natural selfishness, and neither our men nor women should be partakers thereof. We have grown strong as a people because our mothers and our women have been so selfless. That ennobling quality must not be lost, even though some of the people of the world may try to persuade otherwise.

While there is much variety in the circumstances in which the women of the Church find themselves, they still have much more in common with each other than with other groups. Let us be conscious of doctrines which preach unity but which end up dividing. We hope our women as well as our men will be conscious of the philosophies of the world which would attempt to reverse the wisdom of the Lord when he told us that we can find ourselves only by losing ourselves.

There is a constant need to develop and to maintain tenderness. The world’s ways harden us. The tenderness of our women is directly linked to the tenderness of our children. The women of the Church do so much to teach our sons and daughters and to prepare the rising generation. Let us make no mistake about it—the home is the seedbed of Saints! Both sin and selfishness destroy our spiritual sensitivity.

I am grateful for the way in which our sisters are encouraged to perform acts of Christian service. … I hope our young women of the Church will establish early in their lives a habit of Christian service. When we help other people with their problems, it puts ours in fresh perspective. We encourage the sisters of the Church—young and older—to be “anxiously engaged” in quiet acts of service for friends and neighbors. Every principle of the gospel carries within itself its own witness that it is true. So it is that acts of service help not only the beneficiaries of the service, but they enlarge the giver.

As one reads the Sermon on the Mount, therein the Savior extolled, among other things, meekness, mercy, peacemaking, and the capacity to cope with persecution and misunderstanding.

Women display a remarkable capacity to love, to cope, along with a remarkable empathy for others in difficulty, which moves women to service as they express their goodness quietly. Women, so often, are charity personified.

It is true of all of us that, as we progress spiritually, our sense of belonging, identity, and self-worth increases. Let us create a climate in which we encourage the sisters of the Church to have a program of personal improvement. It ought to be a practical and realistic program, which is determined personally and not imposed upon them. Yet it ought to cause them to reach for new levels of achievement. We are not asking for something spectacular but rather for the women of the Church to find real self-fulfillment through wise self-development in the pursuit of righteous and worthy endeavors.

We should be as concerned with the woman’s capacity to communicate as we are to have her sew and preserve food. Good women are articulate as well as affectionate. One skill or one attribute need not be developed at the expense of another. Symmetry in our spiritual development is much to be desired. We are as anxious for women to be as wise in the management of their time as we are for women to be wise stewards of the family’s storehouse of food.

We know that women who have deep appreciation for the past will be concerned about shaping a righteous future. We desire women to develop social refinements because these are very real dimensions of keeping the second great commandment—to love one’s neighbor as oneself. We know that women who will improve their relationships with their Father in Heaven will also improve their relationships with their neighbors.

The women of God in all ages have been able to reflect with awe upon the handiwork of God in the heavens without neglecting the practical skills needed not only to survive on this planet but to live an abundant life. There is more of a connection than many realize between the order and purpose of the universe and the order and harmony which exist in a happy and good family.

I am grateful for the cultural refinement that comes into Latter-day Saint homes as the mothers are able to draw upon their experiences in the Church to add to the serenity of our homes. Especially is this true if we approach these things in the spirit of the 13th Article of Faith [A of F 1:13]: “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

The cultivation of Christlike qualities is a demanding and relentless task—it is not for the seasonal worker or for those who will not stretch themselves, again and again.

Each of you sisters has the right and the responsibility to direct your own life. But be not deceived; you must also be responsible for your choices. This is an eternal principle. The law of the harvest is ever in evidence.

We speak often of agency—free agency. Surely it is what brought you here tonight.

Agency suggests something very important—trust. Trust on the part of all. Now just as God trusted us with all he had created here on earth, we must trust his knowledge and love and each other.

God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever, as are his purposes. It is written: “And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine Only Begotten created I him; male and female created I them.” (Moses 2:27.)

And Genesis goes on to say something very beautiful about that creation:

“And God blessed them. …

“And God said, Behold, I have given you … every thing … upon the earth, wherein there is life … and it was so.

“And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.” (Gen. 1:28–31.)

This is a partnership. God and his creation. The Primary song says, “I am a child of God.” Born with a noble birthright, God is your father. He loves you. He and your mother in heaven value you beyond any measure. They gave your eternal intelligence spirit form, just as your earthly mother and father have given you a mortal body. You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life.

Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual. The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for each of you to reach your fullest potential, which is eternal progression and the possibility of godhood.

May you realize that in you is the control of your life and what you are going to be, what you are going to do. Remember that your choices may control to some extent others whose lives will be a part of your life. Remember also that if you succeed, it isn’t because of luck. Success comes from faith and work and prayer and from constant righteous effort. It is a question of agency—of what you choose to do with gifts of God—everything upon the earth, wherein there is life. This reverence for agency and life make us greatly concerned about the world in which we live today. It is a world beset with evil, with frustration, with ugliness. It makes us realize that we must make a strong stand for the right or we may not stand at all.

The Lord has never promised us that we will be free of problems and challenges. He has, however, promised that with faith we will have the strength to meet any eventuality in this life.

Being “anxiously engaged” in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can provide for any of you in any circumstance some reasons to hope—even to be glad and certainly to be loved.

Home is a place for all that is good and enlightening and true. It should provide a climate for constant growth and learning for all who live there—father, mother, and children. Whether or not it provides such a climate depends upon each individual concerned making the right choices in life.

It is against the home and family life that Satan has aimed his greatest efforts to destroy. He strikes the moral sanctity of the home. It is labeled “a new morality” in which freedom of sexual relations is proclaimed. It seeks destruction of the faithfulness and fidelity of husband and wife in the face of the Lord’s commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Ex. 20:14.)

I would have you lovely sisters understand that there is no new morality. That the Church’s stand on morality may be understood, we declare firmly and unalterably that morality is not an outworn garment, faded, old-fashioned, or threadbare.

As you make your life’s choices, understand well, my dear sisters, that God is unchanging, and his covenants and doctrines are not susceptible to change. When the sun grows cold and the stars no longer shine, the law of chastity will still be basic in God’s world and in the Lord’s church. Old values are not upheld by the Church because they are old, but rather because through the ages they have proved to be right and because God has thus spoken.

The law of chastity requires total abstinence before marriage and full fidelity afterward. It is the same for men and women. It is the cornerstone of trust so necessary to the precious happiness of the marriage relationship and family solidarity.

Satan makes yet another powerful effort, and that is an attempt to destroy the happiness and sanctity of God-ordained family life. It is divorce, with all its destructive forces, including headaches, suffering, sorrow, and often disastrous results. We have often discussed the sadness and disappointments and sorrows of divorce. We can hardly emphasize it too much.

No matter what you read or hear, no matter what the differences of circumstances you observe in the lives of women about you, it is important for you Latter-day Saint women to understand that the Lord holds motherhood and mothers sacred and in the highest esteem. He has entrusted to his daughters the great responsibility of bearing and nurturing children.

This is the great, irreplaceable work of women. Life cannot go on if women cease to bear children. Modal life is a privilege and a necessary step in eternal progression. Mother Eve understood that. You must also understand it.

It was never easy to bear and rear children, but easy things do not make for growth and development. Loud, blatant voices today shout, “Fewer children,” and offer the pill, surgery, and even ugly abortion, which has reached monumental numbers. It is an awful thing when mothers without righteous cause take the lives or participate in the taking of the lives of their unborn children.

Much is said about the drudgery and the confinement of the woman’s role in the home. In the perspective of the gospel it is not so. There is divinity in each new life. There is challenge in creating the environment in which a child can grow and develop. There is partnership between the man and woman in building a family which can last throughout the eternities.

Marriage is a partnership. Each is given a part of the work of life to do. The fact that some women and men disregard their work and their opportunities does not change the program.

When we speak of marriage as a partnership, let us speak of marriage as a full partnership. We do not want our LDS women to be silent partners or limited partners in that eternal assignment! Please be a contributing and full partner.

Mothers have a sacred role.

They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord’s spirit children and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments. Could there be a more sacred trust than to be a trustee for honorable, well-born, well-developed children? We reaffirm the Church’s strong, unalterable stand against innovations or any unchastity or breaking of the laws that could possibly reflect in the lives of the children.

Of these matters I have spoken to you plainly tonight because we are greatly concerned about the trends of the day which bring many serious problems and require the making of important choices as true daughters of God.

Never let it be said that you did not understand. Please think on these things. Pray about them, for surely I have. Prepare for and live as full a life as can be your privilege.

We thank the sisters of the Church, young and older, for being such great defenders of the Church, in word and in deed. We love you and respect you!

As Moroni quoted to Joseph Smith from the Prophet Joel, so I quote to you:

“And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:

“And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit.” (Joel 2:28–29; italics added.)

May the Lord bless you and your loved ones this day and always, I humbly pray, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

An Article on Motherhood by Sister Susan W. Tanner

Several years ago my husband and I asked our children what they liked about the recent general conference. Our then-16-year-old daughter was elated. She said, “I loved it! I loved hearing inspired, intelligent prophets and leaders affirm motherhood.” Then she told us that this was one of the disturbing anxieties in her life: “I just don’t hear it from anyone—not at seminary, not in Young Women, and definitely not at school; nowhere except at home.”

I don’t know if her experience is similar to that of other young women, but I suspect it is. I know that for some time it has not been vogue for women to extol the virtues of motherhood or for young women to express the desires of their hearts to be mothers.

I particularly noticed this some time ago when I talked with a group of about 20 Laurels whom I had never met before. I asked them what their goals were. The first few mentioned educational goals such as getting a PhD; some said they would like to go on a mission—all worthy goals. Finally one girl timidly expressed the desire to be a mother. Then a few more girls talked about other goals. After one more girl mentioned motherhood, the rest of them joined in. But it was quite courageous for those first two girls to admit they wanted to be mothers. And this was in a very safe setting.

Besides the fact that admitting this goal may set a girl up for ridicule, it may also set her up for feeling like a failure. She knows she doesn’t have complete control over achieving this goal, which may make her feel vulnerable in stating it. It is also a goal that requires great unselfishness; it may require setting aside other more glamorous goals. I am sensitive to the many issues facing our young women, but I still feel that I must teach eternal principles.

I would like to affirm motherhood, to talk about the newest phrase in our Young Women theme: “be prepared to strengthen home and family.” I will address five things we as parents and leaders must do for our young women.

1. We must teach young women how to strengthen their current homes and families.

All families, from the best to the most troubled, are in need of strengthening. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “If we think other families don’t have any difficulties or any problems, we just don’t know them well enough.” 1 We need to encourage girls to turn to their mothers and fathers not only to receive help but to give help.

Several of our general board members grew up in homes with parents who were less active in the Church. One of them had a wise Young Women leader who counseled her to be with her family when they did recreational things on Sunday but to maintain her personal standards. So if they went to a swimming club, she would go with them to visit with them, but she herself would not go swimming. She was able to build a tender relationship with her family.

I know a young woman who ruefully saw her brother associating with the wrong group of friends. After praying fervently for him one night, she followed an impression to pick him up from the party he was attending. She drove around with him for some time just talking to him about who he was as a member of their family and who he was as a member of Heavenly Father’s family and of his responsibility to honor those identities. He was able to turn things around in his life, partially because of the love of his sister.

Youth often feel lonely or isolated either socially or spiritually. Friendships and close ties with their brothers and sisters are the best antidote. One teenager was rejected by a group of girls at her school. Her brothers and sisters eased her sorrow by including her in their activities and giving her extra doses of love.

All these are examples of young women who strengthened their homes and families. Serving families is a way of covenant keeping, and covenant keeping reaps the promised blessing of having the Spirit in our lives. We must help our young women begin where they are, in whatever kind of family they are in, to strengthen their homes and families.

2. We must prepare young women with skills, both temporal and spiritual, that will bless their future homes.

I believe that one way we can arm our girls spiritually is to help them develop temporal skills or talents. We know that to the Lord all things are spiritual (see D&C 29:34).

Homemaking skills are becoming a lost art. I worry about this. When we lose the homemakers in a society, we create an emotional homelessness much like street homelessness, with similar problems of despair, drugs, immorality, and lack of self-worth. In a publication called The Family in America, Bryce Christensen writes that the number of homeless people on the street “does not begin to reveal the scope of homelessness in America. For since when did the word home signify merely physical shelter, or homelessness merely the lack of such shelter? … Home [signifies] not only shelter, but also emotional commitment, security, and belonging. Home has connoted not just a necessary roof and warm radiator, but a place sanctified by the abiding ties of wedlock, parenthood, and family obligation; a place demanding sacrifice and devotion, but promising loving care and warm acceptance.” 2

So we must teach homemaking skills, including practical ones such as cooking, sewing, budgeting, and beautifying. We must let young women know that homemaking skills are honorable and can help them spiritually as well as temporally. Making a home appealing physically will encourage loved ones to want to be there and will help create the kind of atmosphere that is conducive to the Spirit.

Sunday lessons, Mutual, and Personal Progress are all programs that provide times and ways to teach these necessary lessons. I think of my own experience as a Laurel adviser. The young women in my stewardship had one year until they would be out in the world on their own. I asked them what they needed to know to be ready for that independence. From their list of needs—balancing a checkbook, applying for colleges and jobs, cooking something besides cookies, and so forth—we planned our Mutual activities. I no longer had any problems with attendance, because we were preparing skills the young women needed to fulfill their important future roles. I could see that in the process of learning temporal skills, some spiritual skills were developing simultaneously. There was more genuine friendship and concern for one another. Mothers told me that the spiritual tenor of their homes improved as the young women shared some of their newfound skills.

This is what we as parents and leaders must do. We must help young women develop practical and spiritual skills that will bless their future homes.

3. We must inspire young women to want to be wonderful wives, mothers, and homemakers.

The two most powerful tools we have to inspire our young women are our examples and our sincere words.

I’ve seen many inspirational Young Women leaders who exemplify living their roles with nobility and joy. I remember the powerful example of my Laurel adviser, who was faithful in rearing her children in the Church even though her husband was less active. I know a young woman whose parents weren’t active in the Church. She was impressionable and teachable and learned well from the examples of her leaders. She learned how to fast and how to hold family home evening by participating with her teachers in these activities.

My best and most consistent example in learning the joys of homemaking and mothering was my own mother. She told me many times every day how much she treasured being a mother and homemaker, and then she lived those words in every action. She sang as she folded laundry; she exulted over the clean smell in a freshly scrubbed bathroom; she taught me how to read and write, sew and cook, love and serve. Because she emanated the Spirit and the fruits of love, joy, peace, meekness, long-suffering, and temperance, I felt it, and I knew I wanted the same things in my life (see Gal. 5:22–23). Her example continues to teach me daily.

I want all of you to know the great joy I feel in being a mother, wife, and homemaker. We should express our joy often through our words, actions, and countenances.

4. We must help young women have the courage to face a world that is desecrating families and family values.

It has been alarming recently to feel the full fury of Satan’s attack on families. Alternative lifestyles, abortion, cohabitation, divorce, immorality, and violence are issues that are screaming in our faces at every turn.

Even though I feel alarm, I do not feel fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. Paul told Timothy that “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7).

I feel faith in Jesus Christ and in His restored gospel upon the earth. I feel empowered by the truths of the gospel succinctly stated in the proclamation on the family. It takes a stand on each of the issues I just mentioned, as well as others. For example:

Alternative lifestyles: “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. …

“… We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

Abortion: “We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.”

Cohabitation: “Marriage between man and woman is essential to [God’s] eternal plan.”

Divorce: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”

Immorality: “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity … will one day stand accountable before God.”

Violence: “We warn that individuals who … abuse spouse or offspring … will one day stand accountable before God.” 3

Not only do I feel strengthened by these truths, I feel loved by a wise and all-knowing Father in Heaven, who has blessed us with prophets and apostles to guide this Church. If our young women can know of His love, if they can have the truths of the gospel embedded in their hearts, they will not fear. With strong testimonies of the gospel and a firm knowledge of eternal doctrines, our young women will have the courage to face a world that is desecrating families.

5. We must emphasize to young women the eternal responsibility and privilege of motherhood and help them understand that each of them will make a home and influence children, whether or not they have the opportunity to have children in this life.

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) talked about the influence of strong women of God upon the world: “Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.” 4

We are distinct and different in happy ways because we know who we are eternally. We are all divinely appointed to these womanly roles of mothering and nurturing.

My cousin Carrie was a sterling example of a single sister who was a happy, generous, loving woman, blessing all with whom she associated. She was killed in an automobile accident when she was in her late 30s, but her final act of goodness prior to her untimely death was finishing scrapbooks for each of her nieces and nephews. She was fulfilling her mission to the degree that she could within her opportunities.

Now a word to you wonderful Young Women leaders. I hope the Spirit will help you know how to simplify—by that I mean to spend your valuable time on the important things. Teach principles and doctrines. Give love. Be examples. Make your teaching appealing and as simple as possible.

While what we as leaders are doing with young women now is crucial to saving this world, what we are doing with our eternal callings is of even greater importance. We also carry a mantle for our callings as wives, mothers, and homemakers. We need to call upon the Lord for His Spirit to be with us in these eternal roles. Our homes may be our last and only place of refuge, as our prophets are prophesying. I am pleading with you to be exemplary leaders but not to neglect your home responsibilities.

How significant are our roles as parents! How crucial are our roles as leaders! How imperative that we properly train the future righteous women of God! I know this work we are engaged in is His work, and I am grateful for the wonderful privilege we all have to be His instruments.

“‘She Shall Be Praised’: Latter-day Prophets Speak to Women,” New Era, Oct 1974, 38

She Shall Be Praised”:
Latter-day Prophets Speak to Women

“‘She Shall Be Praised’: Latter-day Prophets Speak to Women,” New Era, Oct 1974, 38

Joseph Smith, Jr.

“… It is natural for females to have feelings of charity and benevolence. … If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates. Females, if they are pure and innocent, can come in the presence of God; for what is more pleasing to God than innocence; you must be innocent, or you cannot come up before God: if we would come before God, we must keep ourselves pure, as He is pure.” (HC 4:605.)

“Our women have always been signalized for their acts of benevolence and kindness; but the cruel usage that they received from the barbarians of Missouri, has hitherto prevented their extending the hand of charity in a conspicuous manner; yet in the midst of their persecution, when the bread has been torn from their helpless offspring by their cruel oppressors, they have always been ready to open their doors to the weary traveler, to divide their scant pittance with the hungry, and from their robbed and impoverished wardrobes, to divide with the more needy and destitute. …” (HC 4:567–68.)

Brigham Young

“… We have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful, not only to sweep houses, wash dishes, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic, or become good book-keepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and all this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large. In following these things they but answer the design of their creation. These, and many more things of equal utility are incorporated in our religion, and we believe in and try to practice them.” (JD 13:61.)

“Now, I say the women have great influence. Look at the nations of the earth. Any nation you like, no matter which, and you enlist the sympathies of the female portion of it and what is there you cannot perform? If the government wants soldiers, they are on hand; if means, it is forthcoming. If you want influence and power, and have the ladies on your side, they will give it you.” (JD 14:102.)

“When I reflect upon the duties and responsibilities devolving upon our mothers and sisters, and the influence they wield, I look upon them as the mainspring and soul of our being here.” (JD 14:102.)

John Taylor

“A great deal of credit is due to our sisters. God has provided them as helpmates to their husbands, and it is the duty of the latter to cherish and protect those whom God has given unto them, and show them how to make themselves happy. Teach them—our wives and daughters—the pure principles of the gospel that the daughters of Zion may be lovely and shine as the light and glory of the age in which we live. Sisters, put away from you the vanities and frivolities of the world, administer to the poor and the afflicted. The sisters know how to sympathize with and administer to those who are poor, afflicted, and downcast. …” (The Gospel Kingdom, p. 177.)

“And what do we want to teach our good sisters? I do not propose to go into details, but will merely say they should be things most elevating and useful. Teach them to cook aright, to dress aright, and to speak aright; also to govern their feelings and tongues, and unfold unto them the principles of the Gospel.” (JD 19:246.)

Wilford Woodruff

“Oh! Ye Latter-day Saints, you talk about revelation, and wonder if there is any revelation. Why, bless your souls, say nothing about the apostles and elders around me, these mountains contain thousands upon thousands of devoted women, holy women, righteous women, virtuous women, who are filled with the inspiration of Almighty God. Yes, these women have brought forth an army of sons and daughters in these mountains, by the power of God, and these sons and daughters partake of the inspiration of their mothers, as well as of their fathers. … Yes, we have revelation. The Church of God could not live twenty-four hours without revelation.” (Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, p. 61.)

“Upon the shoulders of you mothers rests, in a great measure, the responsibility of correctly developing the mental and moral powers of the rising generation, whether in infancy, childhood, or still riper years.” (JD 15:12.)

“That hymn (‘O My Father’) is a revelation, though it was given unto us by a woman—Sister Eliza R. Snow. There are a great many sisters who have the spirit of revelation. There is no reason why they should not be inspired as well as men.” (Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, pp. 61–62.)

“I am glad there is a little spirit among our sisters, and that they dare say their souls are their own.” (JD 14:270.)

Lorenzo Snow

“Let wives pursue an even course with regard to their husband; let them bear with his faults; let them be united and live in peace, and they will increase in light and intelligence.” (JD 5:316.)

Joseph F. Smith

“In the home the mother is the principal disciplinarian in early child life, and her influence and discipline determine in a great measure the ability of her children to assume in manhood and womanhood the larger governments in church and state. … If our sisters could only realize how helpful they might be to their husbands who hold responsible positions in the Church, and if they would only take pride and pleasure in their husband’s administration of affairs, the conduct of men in public office would in many instances be very greatly improved.” (Gospel Doctrine, pp. 240, 290.)

“I have learned to place a high estimate upon the love of mother. I have often said, and will repeat it, that the love of a true mother comes nearer being like the love of God than any other kind of love.” (Gospel Doctrine, p. 315.)

“The word and the law of God are as important for women who would reach wise conclusions as they are for men; and women should study and consider the problems of this great latter-day work from the standpoint of God’s revelations, and as they may be actuated by his Spirit, which it is their right to receive through the medium of sincere and heartfelt prayer.” (Gospel Doctrine, 9, 290.)

“A wife may love her husband, but it is different to that of the love of mother to her child. The true mother, the mother who has the fear of God and the love of truth in her soul, would never hide from danger or evil and leave her child exposed to it. But as natural as it is for the sparks to fly upward, as natural as it is to breathe the breath of life, if there were danger coming to her child, she would step between the child and that danger; she would defend her child to the uttermost. Her life would be nothing in the balance, in comparison with the life of her child. That is the love of true motherhood for children.” (Gospel Doctrine, p. 315.)

Heber J. Grant

“Talk about sacrifice! Why the sacrifice of the women of this Church and their devotion are beyond the power of pen and tongue to pay tribute.” (CR, Apr. 1934, p. 17.)

George Albert Smith

“… I think you will agree with me that seldom may be found in this world a great man who did not have a great mother.” (Sharing the Gospel with Others, p. 140.)

“Woman has filled a wonderful part in the march of progress, but most important of all duties that have been laid upon the gentle sex, is the duty of bringing into the world and rearing, the children of our Heavenly Father.” (Sharing the Gospel with Others, p. 139.)

David O. McKay

“A beautiful, modest, gracious woman is creation’s masterpiece. When to these virtues a woman possesses as guiding stars in her life righteousness and godliness and an irresistible impulse and desire to make others happy, no one will question if she be classed among those who are truly great.” (Gospel Ideals, p. 449.)

“Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child’s mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. True, there comes a time when Father takes his place as exemplar and hero of the growing boy; and in the latter’s budding ambition to develop manly traits, he outwardly seems to turn from the more gentle and tender virtues engendered by his mother. Yet that ever-directing and restraining influence implanted during the first years of his childhood linger with him and permeate his thoughts and memory as distinctively as perfume clings to each particular flower.” (Gospel Ideals, p. 452.)

Joseph Fielding Smith

“Our sisters are entitled just as much to the inspiration for their needs of the Holy Spirit as are the men. They are entitled to the gift of prophecy concerning matters that would be essential for them to know as it is for the men. When they pray they should pray earnestly, expecting to have an answer to their prayers. The Lord will hear them if they are earnest, true, just as well as he will the brethren.” (Take Heed to Yourselves, p. 259.)

“When the Lord said that no person could be saved in ignorance, I think he meant women as well as he did men, and I think the women of the Church are under the obligation of studying the scriptures just as well as for the men.” (Take Heed to Yourselves, p. 259.)

Harold B. Lee

“Woman has within her the power of creation in company with her legal and lawful husband here, and if sealed in celestial wedlock, may have eternal increase in the world to come. Woman is the homemaker in her own home, and an exemplar to her posterity in the generations that succeed her. Woman is a helpmate to her husband and is to render him more perfect than he otherwise would be. Woman’s influence can bless a community or a nation to that extent to which she develops her spiritual powers in harmony with the heaven-sent gifts which she has been by nature endowed. If she does not forfeit her priceless heritage by her own willful negligence, she can be largely instrumental in safeguarding democracy and downing a would-be tyrant. Year in and year out, she may cast the aura of her calming and refining influence to make certain that her posterity will enjoy the opportunities to develop to their fullest potential their spiritual and physical nature.” (Relief Society Magazine, Jan. 1967, p. 13.)

Spencer W. Kimball

“At a distant conference, my plane brought me to the city many hours early. The stake president met me at the airport and took me to his home. Having important work to do, he excused himself and returned to his work. With the freedom of the house, I spread my papers on the kitchen table and began my work. His wife was upstairs sewing. In mid-afternoon, there came an abrupt entry through the front door and a little fellow came running in, surprised to see me. We became friends; then he ran through the rooms calling, ‘Mother.’ She answered from upstairs, ‘What is it, darling?’ and his answer was, ‘Oh, nothing.’ He went out to play.

“A little later another boy came in the front door calling, ‘Mother, Mother.’ He put his school books on the table and explored the house until the reassuring answer came from upstairs again, ‘Here I am, darling,’ and the second one was satisfied and said, ‘Okay,’ and went to play. Another half hour and the door opened again and a young teenager moved in, dropped her books, and called, ‘Mother.’ And the answer from upstairs, ‘Yes, darling,’ seemed to satisfy and the young girl began practicing her music lesson.

“Still another voice later called, ‘Mother,’ as she unloaded her high school books. And again the sweet answer, ‘I am up here sewing, darling,’ seemed to reassure her. She tripped up the stairs to tell her mother the happenings of the day. Home! Mother! Security! Just to know Mother was home. All was well.” (Faith Precedes the Miracle, pp. 117–18.)

Simply Being at Home by Jennie Butler

Simply Staying at Home

One of the tricks of holding a family together is simply staying at home. We have often been told by our prophets, “The greatest…work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home.” (President Harold B. Lee) We most likely won’t accomplish this great work if we are rarely within the walls of the home.

During a crazy season of my motherhood it seemed I was living in our van. We wanted our children to be involved in music lessons, sports, clubs, talent development classes, etc. It seemed I spent all my time rushing from one activity to another. Meals were bought quickly in between appointments. They weren’t very nutritious or easy on our budget. In fact, our budget was already strained because of all the extracurricular activities. Even though I was supporting my children by attending their events, I didn’t feel I had the opportunity to just be close to them. Home had become a pit stop not a heaven on earth. Something had to change!

Our family tried an experiment! We were going to have a season of NO extra-curricular activities!

At first there were grumbles of not being on the soccer team and missing friends; however, we went ahead. Changes occurred rapidly!

We ate at home together every night. We had time to bake bread and cook together. This alone opened a wonderful opportunity for conversation and skill development. Our diets became much more healthful. We even had time for walks together after dinner.

Our whole family was more relaxed and less grouchy. We had time to play games together, read with each other, and cuddle little ones. My husband and I really talked together instead of just coordinating schedules. Our friendship deepened and our love grew stronger. Yells to hurry were replaced with laughing, even singing.

Financially things improved. We saved significantly on gas and food. We also eliminated all the expense of the lessons, uniforms, fees, and equipment. Living in our means became possible.

The noise of the world was quieted. Family home evenings were longer, better prepared, and more enjoyable for all. Scripture time wasn’t stuffed in at the end of the day. We had time to really discuss the gospel. We felt we were teaching our children of their worth in the home and the importance of the family. The experiment had truly changed our home into a heaven on earth!

Ask yourself some questions. Do you eat dinner together at home at least 5 times a week? Do you have time to read to your children and really get into the book? Do you have time to just listen to your kids ramble? Do you feel uptight and stressed most or all of the time? Do you yell at your kids to hurry ? Do you spend unrushed one-on-one time with each of your children and your husband at least once a week? Are you teaching your children that their worth and purpose of life is outside the home? Just being together is so important!!!

It’s okay to have seasons of NO extra-curricular activities! It’s okay to say, “We aren’t playing with friends or going anywhere today or this week!” It’s okay to stay home and make cookies or dinner together. It’s okay to build a fire and roast hot dogs and tell stories in the backyard.

Of course, some extracurricular activities can be beneficial. We have found we have to be very careful in selecting our activities. We try to keep it very simple. The most important activities happen in the home. President David O. McKay said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” We don’t feel like we are depriving our children. We are giving them what is most important, a together family!

Whenever we start to feel rushed or like home has become a pit stop we take a serious look at our choices. Sometimes we just decrease outside activities and simplify. Other times we eliminate them all together for a season and just enjoy simply staying at home.

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From Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee

President Harold B. Lee once told of a mother who was polishing pieces of silver in preparation for a reception in the evening. “Right in the midst of all her preparations, her little eight year old boy came in with his piggy bank and he said to his mother, ‘Mother, how do you pay your tithing?’

“And now of all times that she did not want to be interrupted, this was that time, but she wiped her hands and she sat down and they shook the pennies and the nickels and dimes out of the piggy bank and then she explained how he paid tithing. When she had finished, he threw his arms around her neck and said, ‘Oh, thank you, Mother, for helping me; now I know how to pay my tithing.’ ”

Commenting about the experience, the mother said something that is “very, very important for all … mothers to remember, ‘Well, all my life I will have time to polish silver, but this may be the only time I will ever have to teach my boy the principle of tithing.’ ” 1

President Lee taught that “successful motherhood today spans the years and the eternities.” 2 He emphasized that a mother’s glorious purpose “is the building of a home here and laying a foundation for a home in eternity.” 3

Teachings of Harold B. Lee

How can mothers have a righteous influence over their children?

Woman has within her the power of creation in company with her legal and lawful husband here, and if sealed in celestial wedlock, she may have eternal increase in the world to come. Woman is the homemaker in her own home and an exemplar to her posterity in the generations that succeed her. Woman is a helpmeet to her husband and may render him more perfect than he otherwise would be. Woman’s influence can bless a community or a nation to that extent to which she develops her spiritual powers in harmony with the heaven-sent gifts with which she has been endowed by nature. … Year in and year out, she may cast the aura of her calming and refining influence to make certain that her posterity will enjoy the opportunities to develop to their fullest potential their spiritual and physical natures. 4

Mothers are the creators of the atmosphere in the home and do much to provide the strong foundation for their sons and daughters, to provide them with strength when they leave the influence of their homes. 5

Mothers, stay at the crossroads of the home. Some time ago, I was attending a quarterly stake conference. … I said to the president of the stake, … “Have you some mother here, an older mother, who had a large family and had the joy of seeing every one of her family married in the temple?”

He looked out over the audience and he said, “Well, there is Sister (I shall call her Sister Jones), she has had a family of eleven, and they all have been married in the temple.” …

And as this lovely white-haired mother stood beside me at the microphone, I said, “Would you take a lesson out of your book and tell us, what have you done to reach this most marvelous achievement?”

And she replied, … “I might give you two suggestions. In the first place, when our family was growing up, I always was there at the crossroads of the home, when my children were coming to or going from the home. And second: whatever we did we did together as a family. We played together, we prayed together, we worked together, we did everything together. I guess that’s all I can think of.”

I said to her, “Now you have preached two great sermons.” 6

Keep the mother of your home at the “crossroads” of the home. There is a great danger today of homes breaking down because of allurements to entice mothers to neglect their being at home as the family members are coming to or going from the home. Now, I recognize the necessity of some mothers being required to earn sustenance for their family. But even here, Relief Society presidents and bishops should take care lest they fail to lend all aid possible to the mother of small children and to help her, if possible, in planning the nature of work or the schedule of time. All this lies within the province of the Relief Society working with the home. 7

Today I feel that women are becoming victims of the speed of modern living. It is in building their motherly intuition and that marvelous closeness with their children that they are enabled to tune in upon the wavelengths of their children and to pick up the first signs of difficulty, of danger and distress, which if caught in time would save them from disaster. 8

I read the other day again the words of the sainted mother of the Prophet Joseph the night that he went to get the plates. I read her writing:

“On the night of [September 21] I sat up very late. … I did not retire until after twelve o’clock at night. About twelve o’clock Joseph came to me and asked me if I had a chest with a lock and key. I knew in an instant what he wanted it for, and not having one I was greatly alarmed, as I thought it might be a matter of considerable moment. But Joseph, discovering my anxiety, said, ‘Never mind, I can do very well for the present without it—be calm—all is right.’

“Shortly after this Joseph’s wife passed through the room with her bonnet and riding dress, and in a few minutes they left together, taking Mr. Knight’s horse and wagon. I spent the night in prayer and supplication to God, for the anxiety of my mind would not permit me to sleep. …” [Lucy Mack Smith, History of Joseph Smith, ed. Preston Nibley (1958), 102.]

I say to you mothers, if you ever have sons and daughters who amount to what they should in the world, it will be in no small degree due to the fact that your children have a mother who spends many nights on her knees in prayer, praying God that her son, her daughter, will not fail. I remember at the foolish years of my teenage life, my mother came to me with an intuitive impression and warning which I brushed off as foolish teenagers do. “Oh, mother, that’s silly,” I said, then within only a month, to stand face to face with the temptation about which mother had warned. I never had the courage to go back and tell her how right she was, but I was on guard because someone warned—my mother. 9

A family consisting of my grandmother, my mother, and two or three of the younger children were seated before an open door, watching the great display of nature’s fireworks as a severe thunderstorm raged near the mountain where our home was located. A flash of chain lightning followed by an immediate loud clap of thunder indicated that the lightning had struck very close.

I was standing in the doorway when suddenly and without warning my mother gave me a vigorous push that sent me sprawling on my back out of the doorway. At that instant, a bolt of lightning came down the chimney of the kitchen stove, out through the open doorway, and split a huge gash from top to bottom in a large tree immediately in front of the house. If I had remained in the door opening, I wouldn’t be writing this story today.

My mother could never explain her split-second decision. All I know is that my life was spared because of her impulsive, intuitive action.

Years later, when I saw the deep scar on that large tree at the old family home, I could only say from a grateful heart: Thank the Lord for that precious gift possessed in abundant measure by my own mother and by many other faithful mothers, through whom heaven can be very near in time of need. 10

How can mothers fulfill their responsibility for teaching the gospel to their children?

A mother’s heart is a child’s schoolroom. The instructions received at the mother’s knee, and the parental lessons together with the pious and sweet souvenirs of the fireside, are never effaced entirely from the soul.

Someone has said that the best school of discipline is the home, for family life is God’s own method of training the young, and homes are largely what mothers make them. 11

What is the mother’s role, then, in the great service of the kingdom? Her first and most important role is to remember the teaching of the gospel in the family. 12

[I wish to refer to] woman’s place in training her family. … The Lord said:

“But behold, I say unto you, that little children are redeemed from the foundation of the world through mine Only Begotten;

“Wherefore, they cannot sin, for power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children, until they begin to become accountable before me;

“For it is given unto them even as I will, according to mine own pleasure, that great things may be required at the hand of their fathers.” (D&C 29:46–48.)

… What are those great things that God requires of the fathers of children (which, by inference, means mothers as well) during this period before little children begin to become accountable before the Lord? … Parents are admonished to have their children baptized when they are eight years of age and to teach them the fundamental principles of the gospel. Their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins and shall then receive the laying on of hands. They should be taught to pray and to walk uprightly before the Lord.

Great accomplishments are required of fathers and mothers before Satan has power to tempt little children. It is the responsibility of the parents to lay a solid foundation by teaching Church standards by example and by precept.

To the sisters, this means they must make a career of motherhood. They must let nothing supersede that career. 13

Recently I came across a talk that had been given by one of my daughters to a group of mothers and daughters. She told an experience with her first born son who began to teach her the responsibilities that she must have as a mother. She said, “Many years ago when my oldest son was a very little boy, I found myself one warm summer night after supper frantically trying to finish bottling some fruit.” I am sure you young mothers can picture that scene. Everything had happened that day to keep you from getting to that project and you wanted to finish it. Now with the baby settled for the night and your husband off to his meeting on time, your little three and four year olds are about finished getting their pajamas and are getting ready for bed. You think to yourself, “Well, now I will get to that fruit.”

[My daughter continued:] “This is the situation I found myself in that night as I began to peel and pit that fruit, when my two little boys appeared in the kitchen and announced that they were ready to say their prayers.” But not wanting to be interrupted, she said very quickly to her boys, “ ‘Now why don’t you run in and say your prayers all alone and Mother will just keep on working at this fruit.’ David, the oldest, planted his little feet firmly in front of me and asked, not unkindly, ‘But, Mommy, which is the most important, the prayers or fruit?’ Little did I realize then as a young mother and a busy wife that in my life ahead that there would be many such dilemmas as I carried out this role of wife and mother in my home.”

That is the challenge that you as mothers have when your little children are pressing for you to stand by and help them grow. …

Mothers, when your children begin to ask you questions, even about the delicate things in life, don’t turn them aside. Take time to explain to their childish minds, or as they grow up, to their older minds. A successful mother is one who is never too tired for her sons and daughters to come and share their joys and their sorrows with her. 14

I pray that the blessings of the Lord will be on you [my beloved sisters]. You have a greater power over the welfare of this Church than you have any idea. How you will discharge your responsibility as mothers, will determine greatly how the Church will go. That the Lord may help you so to do and build on a solid foundation of the home, is my humble prayer, and I bear you my humble testimony that within the Church of Jesus Christ are to be found the teachings and plans by which our homes can be kept safe, and I bear that testimony in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. 15

From Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball

Chapter 19: Strengthening Our Families "Chapter 19: Strengthening Our Families," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: SpencerW. Kimball, (2006) 36500_000_023 From the Life of Spencer W. Kimball

President Spencer W. Kimball often emphasized the need to strengthen families through gospel living in the home. Describing his own experiences, he said: “As a youth, and with my wife and children in our own home, I remember our beloved family activities. Heaven was in our home. When each person did something, whether it was sing a song, lead a game, recite an article of faith, tell a story, share a talent, or perform an assignment, there was growth and good feeling.” 1

President Kimball and his wife, Camilla, strengthened their children by teaching and encouraging them and then letting them take responsibility for their own choices. Their daughter, Olive Beth, recalled that they “guided rather than pushed us into the paths that they wanted us to go.” 2

President and Sister Kimball showed great love for each of their children. One son, Edward, said: “My father was always very affectionate. I knew he loved me.” Edward recalled an experience he had when he attended a solemn assembly in the Salt Lake Temple: “There were thousands of men there. As the meeting ended, [my father] spotted me where I was singing in a chorus. On his way out, he came over, embraced and kissed me.” 3

Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball

The family is central to our Father’s plan and is the foundation of society.

Family life is the best method for achieving happiness in this world, and it is a clear pattern given to us from the Lord about what is to be in the next world. ⁴

The Lord organized the whole program in the beginning with a father who procreates, provides, and loves and directs, and a mother who conceives and bears and nurtures and feeds and trains. The Lord could have organized it otherwise but chose to have a unit with responsibility and purposeful associations where children train and discipline each other and come to love, honor, and appreciate each other. The family is the great plan of life as conceived and organized by our Father in heaven. ⁵

The family is the basic unit of the kingdom of God on earth. The Church can be no healthier than its families. ⁶

From the beginning, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has emphasized family life. We have always understood that the foundations of the family, as an eternal unit, were laid even before this earth was created! Society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness. …

We of all people … should not be taken in by the specious arguments that the family unit is somehow tied to a particular phase of development a mortal society is going through. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal. We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go wrong in every other institution in society. …

Our political institutions … cannot rescue us if our basic institution, the family, is not intact. Peace treaties cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work or do not have the opportunity to work or the inclination, in some cases, to do so. Law enforcement cannot safeguard us if too many people are unwilling to discipline themselves or be disciplined. ⁷

We have no choice … but to continue to hold up the ideal of the Latter-day Saint family. The fact that some do not now have the privilege of living in such a family is not reason enough to stop talking about it. We do discuss family life with sensitivity, however, realizing that many … do not presently have the privilege of belonging or contributing to such a family. But we cannot set aside this standard, because so many other things depend upon it. ⁸

Parents need to build reservoirs of spiritual strength to sustain their children through life’s experiences.

There are in our lives reservoirs of many kinds. Some reservoirs are to store water. Some are to store food, as we do in our family welfare program and as Joseph did in the land of Egypt during the seven years of plenty. There should also be reservoirs of knowledge to meet the future needs; reservoirs of courage to overcome the floods of fear that put uncertainty in lives; reservoirs of physical strength to help us meet the frequent burdens of work and illness; reservoirs of goodness; reservoirs of stamina; reservoirs of faith. Yes, especially reservoirs of faith so that when the world presses in upon us, we stand firm and strong; when the temptations of a decaying world about us draw on our energies, sap our spiritual vitality, and seek to pull us down, we need a storage of faith that can carry youth and later adults over the dull, the difficult, the terrifying moments, disappointments, disillusionments, and years of adversity, want, confusion, and frustration. …

I am grateful to my parents, for they made reservoirs for my brothers, my sisters, and me. The reservoirs were filled with prayer habits, study, activities, positive services, and truth and righteousness. Every morning and every night we knelt at our chairs by the table and prayed, taking turns. When I was married, the habit persisted, and our new family continued the practice. ⁹

Home life, proper teaching in the home, parental guidance and leadership—these are the panacea for the ailments of the world and its children. They are the cure for spiritual and emotional diseases and the remedy for its problems. Parents should not leave the training of children to others.

There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences such as the school and the church, and of greater concern, to various child-care agencies and institutions. Important as these outward influences may be, they never can adequately take the place of the influence of the mother and the father. Constant training, constant vigilance, companionship, and being watchmen of our own children are necessary in order to keep our homes intact and to bless our children in the Lord’s own way. ¹⁰

The Church auxiliaries are very important, and we should all partake of the blessings they offer. But we should never, never allow them to replace parents, to relieve parents of the responsibility to teach their children the gospel of Jesus Christ. ¹¹

Auxiliary leaders and teachers of youth should ask, how can I help these young people to love and obey their parents, honor them, and be supportive of their family responsibilities? How can we schedule meetings, practices, and activities to avoid disrupting home relationships and responsibilities, and to allow time for family activities?

Our commitment to home-centered gospel living should become the clear message of every priesthood and auxiliary program, reducing, where necessary, some of the optional activities that may detract from proper focus on the family and the home. ¹²

Only by properly planning and charting our family life can we guide our children and keep them free from the pitfalls that lead to sin and destruction, and put them on the pathway to happiness and exaltation. In this, nothing is more powerful than the example of their own parents and the influence of their home life. Our children’s lives will be much the same as they see in their own homes as they are growing to manhood and womanhood. We should therefore chart our course along the pathway which we would want our children to follow. ¹³

The child will carry into his own life much that he sees in his family home life. If he sees his parents going to the temple frequently, he will begin to plan a temple life. If he is taught to pray for the missionaries, he will gradually gravitate toward the missionary program. Now, this is very simple, but it is the way of life. And we promise you that your children will bring you honor and glory as you give them proper example and training. ¹⁴

I have sometimes seen children of good families rebel, resist, stray, sin, and even actually fight God. In this they bring sorrow to their parents, who have done their best … to teach and live as examples. But I have repeatedly seen many of these same children, after years of wandering, mellow, realize what they have been missing, repent, and make great contribution to the spiritual life of their community. The reason I believe this can take place is that, despite all the adverse winds to which these people have been subjected, they have been influenced still more, and much more than they realized, by the current of life in the homes in which they were reared. When, in later years, they feel a longing to recreate in their own families the same atmosphere they enjoyed as children, they are likely to turn to the faith that gave meaning to their parents’ lives. ¹⁵

Fathers and mothers, your foremost responsibility is your family. By working together you can have the kind of home the Lord expects you to have. By showing love and consideration for one another and for your children, you can build a reservoir of spiritual strength that will never run dry. ¹⁶

We need to fortify our families against the evils around us.

The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us. ¹⁷

The evil one knows where to attack. He is going to attack the home. He is going to destroy the family. That’s what he wants to do. … Let us make up our minds he will not do it in our families. ¹⁸

We need continually to fortify our homes and families and defend them against the onslaught of evils such as divorce, broken families, brutality, and abuse, especially of wives and children. We need to constantly guard against immorality, pornography, and sexual permissiveness that would destroy the purity of the family members, young and old. …

… We find these evil forces almost everywhere we go. Exposure is almost constant. We track them into the home from the school, from the playground, from the theater, the office, and the marketplace. There are but few places we go in our everyday world where we can escape them.

What then must be our service? What must we do? We must be constantly alert to their evil presence in our homes and destroy them as we would the germs and filth of disease. We must hunt them from the closets of our minds, freeing ourselves of such worldliness, quenching the embers of wickedness before they become destructive flames. How do we do this?

If we would escape those deadly thrusts of the evil one and keep our homes and families free and solidly fortified against all destructive influences so rampant about us, we must have the help of the very founder and organizer of this family plan—the Creator himself. There is only one sure way and that is through the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and being obedient to its profound and inspired teachings. Surely we must be made to realize that the purchase price of a family hearth free of such evil influences is the keeping of the commandments of God. ¹⁹

As parents read the newspapers and magazines and see what the world is trying to teach their children, they should become all the more determined that their children not be damaged by such sin and error. Parents should then provide the home life, the discipline, and the training that will offset and neutralize the evil that is being done in the world. As children learn of the ugly things in the world, they must also learn of the good things in the world and the proper responses and proper attitudes. ²⁰

Some years ago we visited a country where strange ideologies were taught and “pernicious doctrines” were promulgated every day in the schools and in the captive press. Every day the children listened to the doctrines, philosophies, and ideals their teachers related.

Someone said that “constant dripping will wear away the hardest stone.” This I knew, so I asked about the children: “Do they retain their faith? Are they not overcome by the constant pressure of their teachers? How can you be sure they will not leave the simple faith in God?”

The answer amounted to saying “We mend the damaged reservoir each night. We teach our children positive righteousness so that the false philosophies do not take hold. Our children are growing up in faith and righteousness in spite of the almost overwhelming pressures from outside.”

Even cracked dams can be mended and saved, and sandbags can hold back the flood. And reiterated truth, renewed prayer, gospel teachings, expression of love, and parental interest can save the child and keep him on the right path. ²¹

Home is where spirituality should be taught and nurtured.

A true Latter-day Saint home is a haven against the storms and struggles of life. Spirituality is born and nurtured by daily prayer, scripture study, home gospel discussions and related activities, home evenings, family councils, working and playing together, serving each other, and sharing the gospel with those around us. Spirituality is also nurtured in our actions of patience, kindness, and forgiveness toward each other and in our applying gospel principles in the family circle. Home is where we become experts and scholars in gospel righteousness, learning and living gospel truths together. ²²

The home should be a place where reliance on the Lord is a matter of common experience, not reserved for special occasions. One way of establishing that is by regular, earnest prayer. It is not enough just to pray. It is essential that we really speak to the Lord, having faith that he will reveal to us as parents what we need to know and do for the welfare of our families. ²³

Scripture study as individuals and as a family is most fundamental to learning the gospel. Daily reading of the scriptures and discussing them together has long been suggested as a powerful tool against ignorance and the temptations of Satan. This practice will produce great happiness and will help family members love the Lord and his goodness.

Concerning the governing of our families, we have been correctly taught that the family council is the most basic council of the Church. Under the direction of the father and mother, who should also counsel together, family councils may discuss family matters, discuss family finances, make plans, and support and strengthen family members. ²⁴

Regarding our home evenings, an evening home with the family or an evening out to some place of interest with your family only partly solves the need of the home evening. Basically important is the teaching of the children the way of life that is vitally important. Merely going to a show or a party together, or fishing, only half satisfies the real need, but to stay home and teach the children the gospel, the scriptures, and love for each other and love for their parents is most important. ²⁵

By committing ourselves to having the regular and inspirational family home evening and by carefully planning the content of that evening, we are sending a signal to our children which they will remember forevermore. When thus we give our children of our own time, we are giving of our presence, a gift that is always noticed. ²⁶

I like to compare the home evening, family prayer, and other associated activities of the Church for the saving of the family, when they are conscientiously carried out, with an umbrella. If the umbrella is not opened up, it is little more than a cane and can give little protection from the storms of nature. Likewise, God-given plans are of little value unless they are used.

The umbrella spread out makes the silken material taut. When the rain falls, it runs off; when the snow falls, it slides off; when the hail comes, it bounces off; when the wind blows, it is diverted around the umbrella. And in like manner, this spiritual umbrella wards off the foes of ignorance, superstition, skepticism, apostasy, immorality, and other forms of godlessness.

It is my prayer that we shall all spread our spiritual umbrellas for protection of our families. ²⁷

We should love our children as God loves us.

God is our Father. He loves us. He spends much energy trying to train us, and we should follow His example and love intensely our own children and rear them in righteousness. ²⁸

How long has it been since you took your children, whatever their size, in your arms and told them that you love them and are glad that they can be yours forever? ²⁹

Oh, brothers and sisters, families can be forever! Do not let the lures of the moment draw you away from them! Divinity, eternity, and family—they go together, hand in hand, and so must we! ³⁰